Spare-ohs

death trap

2008-11-10T01:08:50Z

I finished two seasons of 30 Rock this weekend. Tina Fey is amazing.
Played hours upon hours of Taboo, Cranium, Mafia, etc.
Went to the Austin Farmers' Market and wrote a story about it.
Went apartment hunting.
And sacrificed sleep.
But it was well worth it!

It feels so good to have moved on to better and brighter things.

for kicks

2008-01-01T19:44:21Z

if i were a month, i would be: December
if i were a day of the week, i would be: Saturday
if i were a time of day, i would be: 10pm
if i were a planet, i would be: Neptune
if i were a sea animal, i would be: seahorse
if i were a direction, i would be: East
if i were a piece of furniture, i would be: the broken lamp
if i were a sin, i would be: lust
if i were a historical figure, i would be: Frida Kahlo
if i were a liquid, i would be: jasmine tea
if i were a stone, i would be: marble
if i were a tree, i would be: willow
if i were a bird, i would be: owl
if i were a tool, i would be: scissors
if i were a flower/plant, i would be: daisy
if i were a kind of weather, i would be: cool, breezy
if i were a mythical creature, i would be: fairy
if i were a musical instrument, i would be: a cello
if i were an animal, i would be: unicorn. it can be fictional, right?
if i were a colour, i would be: eggplant (purple)
if i were a vegetable, i would be: eggplant
if i were a sound, i would be: a hum.
if i were an element, i would be: water
if i were a car, i would be: old volkswagon
if i were a song, i would be: "Cayman Islands" by Kings of Convenience
if i were a movie, i would be directed by: Michel Gondry
if i were a book, i would be written by: Haruki Murakami
if i were a food, i would be: miso soup
if i were a place, i would be: Kyoto, Japan
if i were a material, i would be: satin
if i were a taste, i would be: subtle
if i were a scent, i would be: jasmine
if i were a religion, i would be: Christianity
if i were a word, i would be: catastrophe
if i were an object, i would be: a ballpoint pen
if i were a body part, i would be: hand
if i were a facial expression, i would be: :|
if i were a subject in school, i would be: English
if i were a cartoon character, i would be: Buttercup from PPG
if i were a shape, i would be: circle
if i were a number, i would be: 7

caymanislands @ 2007-12-28T12:51:00

2007-12-29T19:19:15Z

all you need is love

I wrote this short story two years ago

2007-12-20T06:13:22Z

A hard cough, ashen face, and rotting tobacco smell. If I could sum you up, those would be my choice of words, because I’ve never known you beyond the elements you’ve exposed. I’d thank you for a cigarette, and you’d nod slightly in return--our inescapable routine. I’m embarrassed to acknowledge and even relish it since it was a minute of your day and an hour of mine. Mrs. Xavier warned me against associating with “your kind”, as she put it so callously.
“They ruin us, honey.”
“Who’s ‘they’?”
“Boys who think they’re men, all grown up and indifferent. They think we’re just foolish girls, and we let them.”
I laughed because I didn’t understand then. She was just a friend of my mother’s, what did she know? I felt what I felt and hoped it would change. But feelings have a habit of reoccurring and morphing into weird creatures if we don’t look after them. They rupture, they hurt--but what did we know?
I went to the park to numb. After a long day of running errands and hollow conversations I wanted to suck in the smoke and let it out like in the movies. You were my frozen still. Girl approaches boy, boy smiles, girl bums cigarette, boy charms. I went to the park to numb and all I got was this stupid cigarette.
I don’t think we ever really spoke, and after a while you stopped showing up. I used to walk to other ones, even if they were out of my way, expecting to see your dark outline against the bench. Eventually I gave up. Even if I had seen it, I wouldn’t know whose name to call out.
“Hey, Hard Cough, Ashen Face, Rotting Tobacco Smell Boy.”
“Hey, Silent Smoking Girl.”
That’s how it would be in the movies.

the irony!

my decision-making process as of late.

2007-04-09T16:45:10Z

eenee, meenee, miny, moe.
catch a tiger by the toe.
if he hollers let him go.
eenee, meenee, miny moe.

caymanislands @ 2007-02-23T21:49:00

2007-02-24T03:59:58Z

need to watch
~~somersault~~
~~nobody knows~~
maria full of grace
notes on a scandal
compassionate sex (rec'ed by chandra)
letters from iwo jima
~~volver~~
elephant
the royal tenenbaums
y tu mama tambien
igby goes down
...

this made me laugh.

2006-12-07T03:41:31Z

A war of words then erupted between Gallo and popular critic Roger Ebert, with Ebert writing that The Brown Bunny was the worst film in the history of Cannes, and Gallo retorting by calling Ebert a "fat pig with the physique of a slave trader." Ebert then responded, paraphrasing a statement once made by Winston Churchill that "one day I will be thin, but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of The Brown Bunny." Gallo then claimed to have put a hex on Ebert's colon, cursing the critic with cancer. Roger Ebert then replied that enduring his colonoscopy would be more entertaining than watching The Brown Bunny.

caymanislands @ 2006-10-13T20:07:00

2006-10-14T01:19:24Z

it's weird hearing him described in past tense.
"mark went to church with us."
"mark was a troublemaker."
it's weird, all of it.
i get sick just thinking about it. i'm not going to say any bullshit like, god has taken him to a better place. i don't know if he went to heaven. i don't fucking know, and that is killing me.
i don't know what his mother is feeling or what it felt like to have a pole wrapped around my car.
i don't know what his last thoughts were or if he even had time to think.

death just doesn't make any sense to me.
how someone can go from existant to nonexistant in a second. how i said hi to him a week ago for the last time. how no one will ever hear his voice again.

where do we go from here.

atx

2006-10-04T04:49:44Z

So, austin
good on so many levels
not to say there weren't some really boring moments where we would all look at each other and go, "where do you want to eat now?" but then that kind of boredom is different than plano boredom. plano boredom is like hitting yourself over the head with an axe, whereas austin boredom is like stroking yourself gently with a knife.

i always have these moments where i don't know what to say anymore.
like i've run out of words and all i want to do is sleep and watch tv.
basically my friends and i have turned into snorlax.

fall breaks are always nice.

brick is ze bomb.

2006-09-25T02:50:38Z

next up: Nobody Knows (Dare mo shiranai)

craving sushi

2006-09-16T04:58:52Z

I picked up this book from the library and am now looking at breathtaking pictures of Nabokov and Truman Capote. this has sparked my desire to go out and take pictures of everyone and everything... I go through 'phases' where I want to be everyone: a writer, philosopher, a musician, the zeitgeist of my generation! But of course, reality hits and I'm a plain seventeen yr old girl living in the most mundane place on earth. less thinking and more doing, from now on. dedicate yourself to a cause other than yourself/think outside the box/challenge yourself and trust me, you'll be better off.

negative energy!

2006-09-15T02:52:14Z

what a shitty week.
but to keep things in perspective, things are shittier for the kids in montreal, anna nicole smith, iraqi civilians/soldiers, etc.
still, it's hard to feel the effects of outside events when the only mediums are TV and print. all I can think about right now is how I'm not going to the dumb dance, my grades are horrible, my northwestern application is due less than two months, and I don't have enough time for anything anymore.

what's more, the friendships I value so much and depend on disinegrate when I don't have enough time to go to the movies with them or talk about boys.

I have no fucking motivation to go to school anymore.
I've had senioritis since the 9th grade. high school is the worst example of society. people are callous and shallow and mean-spirited and obviously this is a generalization.
Yay, I'm glad I've made so many cool new friends, and learning is fun, but everything else is just a waste of time and energy.

where did my optimism go?
along with my naivete, all my wishful thinking went straight out the window.

this song makes me want to take off.

2006-09-12T02:02:28Z

I fell in love again.
all things go, all things go.
drove to Chicago.
all things know, all things know.
We sold our clothes to the state.
I don't mind, I don't mind.
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind.

i drove to chicago

2006-09-04T17:53:44Z

played late night volleyball with friends
there were a group of mexicans parked close by,
laz chased after a little girl who he thought stole his twenty dollars
but she was waving her own dollar, from her mother's pocket
jotted down, life seems to be fine
but I feel so blue
it might be the weather
it might be a million things that I just can't let go of,
things that won't let go of me
this is not a poem
they're just lines of thoughts I can't form coherently

Rabbit Fur Coat

2006-08-24T02:46:23Z

okay, a few things great things worthy of mention.
-received a letter from my new penpal, sharon! it's 3 pages long and beautifully decorated, so i don't know if i can top that
-i have the house to myself for a week
-shannon visited & we lunched
-new friends!
-i'm 2/3 done with my northwestern application
-emiliana torrini's album "love in the time of science", especially track 1
-the nice funny guys in my classes who provide nonstop entertainment

i'm so busy these days to the point of exhaustion but i get to see my bffs like everyday so it isn't so bad, plus i'm loving ap psych and ap environmental science

well, there are always things to be happy about
i guess this is just a reminder for the future when i start suffering from dreaded s--------- and other wack diseases

stay koo,
Val

stress!

2006-08-19T23:21:55Z

give me a remote so I can fast forward this whole "apply to colleges, wait for them to reject you" process while lying in bed listening to Anna Nalick, please.

I've been temperamental. I have to take care of my fat dog next week and I hate it so much cause it brought fleas into the house that bit me and now I have like five gigantic itchy bumps on my body. so, if you want to hang out at my place...and walk my dog, that'd be awesome!

newspaper stuff
train for turkey trot even though it's far away
sat subject tests
get license so I won't be a damn pedestrian no more
spend less money on food/magazines

EXHAUSTION!

2006-08-07T15:10:28Z

So I got back on Thursday morning.
Worked on grad banquet until Sunday night. Fast food has been a staple, sleep is unknown, I think I LOST weight moving stuff back and forth, and my head hurts a lot. But it was totally worth it, seeing the finished product. I had a lot of fun working on it with church buddies and spending every waking minute with them!

On Saturday night, L.A.M and I went to the circus.
It was pretty much like, a PONY SHOW. !!! Still, hanging out with them is always entertaining.

Let's see, this is the first time that I'm home during the day in about 1 1/2 months.
I have a lot of errands to run with my sister, like picking up my school schedule!?!
OH man. I don't want to walk through those halls again.
At least it'll be the last year.
I'm applying early decision to Northwestern.

Please pray for me!

Boys are...confusing.

I don't expect anything.

2006-07-26T16:03:57Z

Tonight was nice. I spent it catching up with Pei about school, people, and whatever else there is to talk about, at People's Square. Of course we took a bunch of sticker pictures that I refuse to stick anywhere.
And sometimes I am just an assortment of songs, clever phrases, and other people's ideas. Sometimes not a whole person but a lot of people meshed together and that is not okay with me.
Next summer I might be in Russia, Guatemala, Costa Rica, India, or Peru. How do I choose!?
I am very grateful that I am financially able to travel with emotional support from my family members and that I've had the chance to go to a lot of wonderful places in recent years. Travelling has shaped my life.
Thailand, Hong Kong, Three Gorges Cruise, Chicago, NYC, Mexico, China, Taiwan, California, St. Louis. Still haven't seen Europe or South America, but I have time. I'm always buying these travel magazines and sighing because there are so many countries in the world worth visiting. And then my mom comes in and says something along the lines of, "You're only 17! You still have years to travel!"

She's right, but Plano for now. One more year.

always making lists.

2006-07-23T07:42:00Z

start journaling everyday
read murakami & some nonfiction
develop a regular sleeping pattern
cut out coffee, caffeine, soda, pearl milk tea, etc.
detox!!! mind body soul
take better care of my laptop
exercise at least 3x a week
pray more/read bible
turn off my phone for a few hours a day
get rid of anything old, broken
write more e-mails and letters
upload and organize photos
retrieve music files
retake driving test

next summer, i'd like to volunteer abroad. there are too many reasons to go. i'm open to any country but china. obviously africa is in desperate need of help but i'm not sure if my parents would allow me to go there right now. ideally i want to find a 2-4 week program under $1500. so i have about year to educate myself and finance this trip.

and while on the topic of things i'd like to do, going to a kings of convenience show is a must. i would travel halfway across the world to see them. please please come to dallas!

damsel in distress.

2006-07-19T14:31:55Z

i am soooo heading over to people's square after work for some mango w/ sago (best combination since pb&j) so i can pretty much null my workout from this morning (1/2 hour of cardio, 1/2 hour of weights). lucky for me, my parents want to take me to shangri-la on friday for my birthday dinner. and i KNOW my mom made a visit to the MAC counter when i was out at lunch with my co-workers ling yi and jane. one of many things i miss about america, or "mei guo", are the food courts! there are actually spaces between each table! empty seats, too. eating here is like being sandwiched between sumo wrestlers on all sides.

yeah...

so why the hell are people so annoying?
certain lurkers have been myspacing me nonstop with their incessant compliments (that come off more creepy than flattering, fyi) and asking me where i live, etc. I LIVE IN NORWAY! i hang out with my bud erlend oye and we sing melancholy songs.

and while i'm at it, why are people so incompetent? why can't they type properly? why don't they read? why not make an actual contribution to society?!?!??

the only reason i update is because i'm stuck in a cubicle for the next few hours.
sorry for making you suffer through this.

lots of x's and o's

Girl, Interrupted

2006-07-15T16:51:49Z

Shanghai is a city that never shuts up.
And my time here has been anything but peaceful; as soon as my head hits the pillow, I wake up and it's time to go.
Right now I'm working, I get paid in pearl milk teas, and I'm pretty satisfied with how I spend my time.
manicures, massages, facials - it's all pretty borgeouise
I spend a lot of time shopping and eating, but it's the bonding with people that makes my trip meaningful. I work out at least 3x a week. I try to see as much of my friends as possible. It's been a really eye-opening month, nothing like the placid calm that June laid out for me. In five days I'm 17. It's just another stepping stone to the adult life I've always wanted but couldn't handle. I really like the direction my life is taking. It's kind of all up in the air, in some ways, though, which makes everything a little more exciting. I don't know who I'll meet or where I'll end up, but I exercise some control - as much as I can, anyhow.
A lot has been going on.
I don't get much time to blog or myspace anymore. But livejournal is just cathartic.
I miss my friends, I miss my bed, I miss the clean air.
These sacrifices I've had to adjust to in exchange for a bit of...adventure and spontaneity.

not cut out for tedious jobs.

2006-07-12T12:32:43Z

this morning I saw a 50-year old woman's ripe crack and tonight I landed the cosmogirl reporter position. god is fair after all.

old china

2006-07-08T17:01:29Z

I don't look too happy there, but I was. That night, at least.
Most nights I pass out on my pillow until my internal clock wakes me up.
Things are getting...better. One of my friends is leaving though. We went ice skating and the ice started melting, fast! I've become addicted to 24 again. And today was another shopping day but the minute we left, it started to pour and we couldn't catch a taxi for a long time, so we had to hop onto a bus and get off and walk around (in the nasty rain) and ultimately decided to take the subway home. Gross, gross weather.

My dad and I went to a photography exhibit about an hour away. It was neat.

Also, it's probably not healthy to eat ice cream and gelato everyday of the week.

jellyfish :)

2006-07-02T16:11:50Z

everyone has skeletons in his or her closet, but opening up to a stranger is still so daunting a task that I'd rather suffer self-imposed isolation. it's refreshing to meet someone who will, without any inhibitions, share his or her lifestory in exchange for nothing. I have yet to do that with someone; still, I'm sure everyone is craving for that intimacy that can only come from shedding our skin.

share a secret with me!
the amount of people who read this border zero, but that's okay. do it anonymously if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

my not-so-interesting, perhaps not-so-shocking secrets:
1. I may have killed my hamsters. And bunny. And I caused a puppy to run away once.
2. My dad is an ass. I can't stand him.

chapter 1: summer in fotoz.

2006-06-24T05:33:54Z

dccyc (stolen)

downtown dallas/plano

church/shops of legacy/mavs game

father's day

lazy days swimming + eating

now for chapter 2! byeeeee. it's been real.
(not featured: sleepover @ jamie's, all mavs games, feisty little dogs, go-carting with alice matt lisa and kevin, eating, sleeping, summer school, eating, working out)